Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
