areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
