We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
