I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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