Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
