What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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