just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
