i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
