i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
