I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
