hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
