On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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