We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Please don't give away my fajitas
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
