help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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