So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize