somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think i have herpe
just one?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
