Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
