U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
