Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
