No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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