I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Congratulations! We have a period
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