He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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