am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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