u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize