he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
