just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
