I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
