I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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