so that wasnt chicken after all
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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