I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
