Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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