well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
