When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
