Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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