My balls are so social today.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
