My Higher Power is John Stamos
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
