Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
