Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
