those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
