Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
