I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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