Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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