idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
