just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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