i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If I die, sorry about rent.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
