I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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