I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
