I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS