We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
His nipple licking is glorious
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