The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
