just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
