I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just threw up on my dentist
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
and you fell through a lawn chair
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
