idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize