Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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