Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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