I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
