so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
