Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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