You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
