Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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