he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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