What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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