We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize