my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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