I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
